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Whenever I read ‘Kubla Khan,’ or ‘The Charge of the Light Brigade’ I find myself imagining Coleridge strung out on opium or Tennyson combing his long wild beard like a baboon at the local zoo. After thumbing through a few chapters of Salem’s Lot, I think of Stephen King picking his nose. When Kay Scarpetta wraps up another mystery I think of Patricia Cromwell ordering figurines from the home shopping network. And then, when the point culminant of The Importance of Being Earnest was forming in his brain, I think of Oscar Wilde eating oysters with lemon and crackers thinking about British mangina. I guess I think of these images, these Greats in their human moments, because it makes me feel more like I could get along with them should I ever be invited to a cocktail party in the afterlife. I’d hate to be the only Shmoe in a room full of ‘enlightened’ people, walking though the room chugging a Bud and spattering bits of chili-cheese dog down the front of my heavenly issued white shirt. To know she was being fucked to her heart’s content until finally, she drags herself back home for some rest and TLC from her loving cucky husband. Just go with the flow, Dave, baby. We both know how you’ve missed this game since Chris left town. Freddy and Josh are fine, but I know you want something more …”Was this woman some kind of witch or sorceress? How could she see so far and so deep into my heart and my soul? Was she just guessing, or did she have some direct-line plugged into the deepest recesses of my mind? Able to see my deepest and darkest thoughts, those that sat there right next to the fears and terrors that kept them company. Twin brothers that fought and played together as only brothers can.How did she know the thought that I barely dared admit to myself? That despite the price I’d nearly paid, I did miss the danger and excitement that Jill’s affair with Chris had brought into our lives. That intoxicating and addictive mix of sexual highs and high-wire thrills..
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